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Mythbusting our beliefs about financial stress

Mythbusting our beliefs about financial stress

Mythbusting our beliefs about financial stress.

Financial Mindfulness interviewed a dozen people in Hyde Park Sydney while gathering footage for a marketing video, every person we spoke to believed financial stress was all around them.

The problem is “huge, huge”, said one respondent, while others suggested 70 per cent of the population might be under financial stress. A couple said “everyone” was under financial stress; another commented that they “didn’t know anyone” not under financial stress.

Most understood that financial stress could cause, or at least be associated with, other problems in our lives, from depression to anger, insomnia, affecting our concentration and lower productivity at work, and things like social isolation.

Marc Richardson, a Sydney based clinical psychologist, says you can add “hits to your self-esteem”, relationship difficulties and a tendency to alleviate stress with drugs and alcohol to that list.

But there was little consensus among the people we spoke to – and a sense of helplessness – about how to help someone suffering from financial stress: answers ranged from providing financial advice to lending money through to just listening.

When it comes to how we interact with money, the optimum state is one of financial mindfulness.

Financial mindfulness is described as having awareness and paying attention to your finances and financial behaviours. It means more than being money smart or financially savvy, as it includes the capacity to regulate emotional responses that can lead to unhelpful financial behaviour and financial stress.

There is no doubt financial stress is a serious problem. But a key to finding solutions to financial stress is in understanding what it is – and what it is not.

Here are five common beliefs about financial stress – we assess if they are true or false.

Belief 1 – Financial stress is just another type of stress, and stress is normal (so get over it)

Broadly speaking, stress is a physiological reaction to stimulus and is not always bad. “Stress can be helpful and good when it motivates people to accomplish more,” says the American Institute of Stress, while pointing out stress is “a highly subjective phenomenon that it defies definition”.

Technically, the word “stress” is interchangeable with “pressure”, and more often, we use stress when we really mean “distress” or “strain”. Financial stress is a reaction to pressure around money, which can quickly turn to distress. This is undoubtedly partly because – thanks to consumerism – Western society tells us acquiring new stuff is a sign of success. Who would disagree that, in a nutshell, we want more than we need?

Stress can be acute, recurring or chronic. The stress of any type can feel upsetting, but chronic stress can cause illness: the longer we are under money pressure, the worse we feel. That’s where financial stress can be so damaging: it’s mentally exhausting to continually struggle with payments that have no end in sight.

If you add in the tendency to medicate our stress by spending on excesses or luxuries – especially things you won’t or cannot talk about – it’s likely chronic financial stress will take hold.

One expert on financial stress in the United States, DR J. Galen Buckwalter, has identified a syndrome called “acute financial stress disorder”. Think of all the drivers: credit cards, loan and especially mortgage repayments, stress-relief spending and for people on lower incomes, basics like food, heating and rent.

If that last sentence makes it sound like financial hardship is the cause of financial stress, not always.

MOSTLY FALSE

Belief 2 – Financial stress is the same thing as hardship

The Australian Bureau of Statistics’ indicators for measuring financial stress include being unable to pay various bills on time and being “unable to raise $2000 in a week for something important”. However, further reading shows its indicators are pointers to “households … experiencing economic hardship”.

But that is only part of the story of financial stress: it’s likely many more people are under financial distress. Much of the stress we suffer happens because we’ve convinced we need bigger or newer possessions. Or because of rising prices of, for example, housing.

Disturbing revelations about mortgage stress in recent weeks include the news that 130,000 households in New South Wales and Victoria are spending an unsustainable 30 per cent more on repaying their mortgages. More than half of all Tasmanian households are in this position.

The maximum households should spend on repayments, according to many financial advisors, is no more than 30 per cent of gross income.

With interest rate changes long overdue and the unpredictability of unexpected expenses, spending so much money on a mortgage is a recipe for financial stress. That quickly turns to distress with major expenses or a spending habit that is hard to control.

Rent is “unaffordable” or “severely unaffordable” for the majority of people living within an hour’s drive of Sydney city, according to the SGS Rental Affordability Index (and even worse if you live in the city). This means the cost of renting for most people in or near the city puts them under “housing stress”. The situation is not as severe in Melbourne, although most inner-city rental properties qualify as “unaffordable”.

But few homeowners or renters – at least not those in regular work – would qualify for government assistance based on financial hardship, even if they are struggling to stay afloat.

FALSE

Belief 3 – Everyone is financially stressed

From one extreme to the other.

When we talk about chronic and damaging financial stress – the kind defined by the Australian Bureau of Statistics’ financial stress indicators such as having trouble paying bills on time – then no, not everyone is financially stressed.

But it’s very common, and the chances are it’s affecting someone in your family or someone you interact with regularly at work. The Australian Psychological Society’s Stress and Wellbeing Report in 2019 found 35 per cent of Australians report having “a significant level of distress in their lives”.

That report found “personal finances” (49%) were the single biggest cause of stress for Australians for the preceding five years, ahead of “family issues” (45%) and “personal health” (44%).

Those numbers suggest that someone around you is financially stressed, and probably a few people.

ANZ Bank chief executive Shayne Elliott says the lender is preparing to deal with a much larger number of financially distressed customers next year as government support fades, though ultra-low interest rates will give struggling borrowers more time.

The critical question that may never be answered is why some people suffer financial stress while others faced with similar challenges do not.

The American Institute of Stress uses the analogy of people on a roller coaster to show the difficulty of predicting distress. Some people thrive on the shock and discomfort of the roller coaster experience, while for others, it’s pure torture.

“Many times, we create our stress because of faulty perceptions you can learn to correct,” The institute explains. The use of the word ‘perception’ indicates that the institute of stress believes this is partly a problem of thinking as much as anything else.

It elaborates: “all of our experimental and clinical research confirms that the sense of having little or no control is always distressful – and that’s what stress is all about.”

This suggests our personal relationship with the unexpected is a factor that perhaps a sense of helplessness determines whether we turn a normal level of stress into distress.

So, what do we do about financial stress?

PARTLY TRUE

Belief 4 – financial stress will go away if I have more money

A windfall or pay rise is the holy grail for the chronically financially stressed, but unless you are debt-free – or are one in a million and suddenly get rich – it’s unlikely to work for long.

Chances are, the reasons you are chronically stressed about money are more complex than how much you earn (or the state of the housing or job market), as suggested by the above. It may seem the outside world is causing your financial stress, but it’s also possible at least some of your financial stress comes from inside you.

For example, if you can be prone to impulse spending, wanting to buy the latest expensive gadget, or even have a tendency to shower people in your life with gifts, you will likely spend much of that extra money.

Or if you committed yourself to spend 40 per cent (or more) of your salary on your mortgage or rent and a pay rise gets your head above the waterline, might that extra income justify the risky decision you made to over-commit?

If a windfall were the cure to financial stress, then the ultimate solution would be a lottery win, right? Wrong. A shocking 70 per cent of lottery winners end up bankrupt, according to America’s National Endowment for Financial Education.

The truth is that the cost of living, especially in a capital city, combined with servicing debt caused by a lifestyle beyond what you need creates financial stress. Full stop.

When dealing with or preventing financial distress, it is not just about how much money you can acquire. But, unfortunately, that may be missing the point.

So, time to be honest: how much freedom do you have around your spending?

What may be causing you as much distress as the dollar figures keeping you up at night and distracting you at work is the stress itself. In other words, ruminating on the problem of ‘how do I get better with money is probably a painful process.

Perhaps it’s time to go back a step and examine your whole relationship with money?

FALSE

Belief 5 – You can only help someone under financial stress by giving them money or financial education

There’s no doubt the answers to financial stress – which at least superficially presents as having trouble meeting financial obligations – has a few elements.

Some of those include effectively setting goals that promote change, learning more about how to manage money – Andrew Fleming, Founder & CEO of Financial Mindfulness says “in addition to improving financial literacy and goal setting, being self aware of your current financial behaviours, good or bad, is so important to unearth those unconscious behaviours. For example, why did I buy another phone when the one I had is perfectly fine.  I ended up paying more than I had to and the upgrade features didn’t change anything significant. It was an impulsive decision I made at the time. The clever marketing achieved is purpose at my expense.”

ANZ’s national survey of adult financial literacy showed many Australians have strong levels of understanding around money. However, there were still many people who didn’t save regularly (23%) and did not feel in control of their finances (22%).

“Those most likely to feel out of control were … household incomes of $65,000 or less with children at home and people with a mortgage of $300,000 or more and a household income of less than $100,000,” the report found.

Marc Richardson,  says; “mindfulness is very effective at shifting old, hard-to-shift negative beliefs we have about money, such as “I’m no good with money”, “spending makes me feel better” and “money is stressful”.

“Through mindfulness, we can raise awareness of our thought patterns,” he says.

“It’s only through raising awareness of when our negative emotions arise that we can develop capacities to deal with thoughts and feelings. Mindfulness is a beneficial strategy for breaking the cycle of negative thought patterns that lead to negative emotions and enhance feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and then negative behaviours.

“In fact, without mindfulness, it would be tough for us to catch the underlying attitude which then governs our thoughts, reactions and behaviour.”

MOSTLY FALSE

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Mindfulness can help you get in control of your spending

Mindfulness can help you get in control of your spending

Mindfulness can help you get in control of your spending.

Why do we spend money to feel good now, even if it’s obviously going to have negative consequences at some point, such as damaging financial stress.

And why do we seem to make better decisions if those decisions are planned and not impulsive?

The answer is complex, but just so you really get the ideas, first try to imagine yourself under a lot of financial stress. Maybe you are working and studying, and dealing with a worrying, ongoing health issue too – so you’re always flat-out busy, your mind feels ‘full’ and you have a sense of no end in sight.

Imagine how that stress feels in your body. It’s a difficult feeling, right?

Then without thinking, answer which of these options you’d pick:

  • buying two pairs of the same fancy shoes you like because they are in the window at your local mall or ordering them for 25 per cent less but having to wait a month.
  • selling your car today for $500 less than you could probably get because a buyer is ready with the cash and you want a weekend away or waiting for more money.

Many people probably favour the first option in each case because they want the ‘reward’ now.

Why? According to behavioural scientists, “present rewards are weighted more heavily than future ones. Once rewards are very distant in time, they cease to be valuable,” so says behavioraleconomics.com.

This was the finding of landmark research done in 2002 by Shane Frederick, George Loewenstein and Ted O’Donohue, and published in the Journal of Economic Literature.

Interestingly, when it’s not possible to be rewarded immediately, we will often wait longer to receive a greater reward. Research shows if given the choice between $100 in a year or $120 in 13 months, we are more likely to wait.

All this suggests when if we plan for the future, we are likely to make better decisions about money. But it depends what that future event is, and how far off it is.

If it’s a skiing holiday with friends in the Canadian Rockies next Christmas, we will probably start saving. But if it’s retirement at age 70 (as the Federal Government proposes from 2035), that feels somewhat less urgent, even though few would argue it’s more important than a skiing trip.

In a 2014 report on savings, the Reserve Bank of Australia showed “younger households place more weight on saving for large purchases and emergencies to smooth near-term consumption rather than saving for longer-term (retirement) consumption.”

“Some keys to managing decisions like these are to make those far-off outcomes feel closer,” Peter Sokol-Hessner, assistant professor in the department of psychology at University of Denver, The Huffington Post.

He suggested “to imagine how you’ll feel when you can use those retirement funds, how grateful you’ll be that your younger self sent this gift into the future.”

What has all this got to do with mindfulness?

Mindfulness is being fully aware of what’s happening in the present moment. When we can train our minds to be more aware of each moment – either through some kind of mindfulness practice like meditation, or just a deliberate change in mindset – we make better spending and saving decisions.

We can think about what we really need now, versus what we need in the future.

For instance, you may decide to do extra research before selling your car or home, looking more carefully at trends and brainstorming other ways to find ready cash.

A big benefit of becoming more mindful is it creates a buffer against the power of the external pressure to spend. Think about the hype involved around the release of the next stage of a sought-after apartment development: it’s in the interests of a real estate agent to get potential buyers into a feeding frenzy state with other potential buyers, so the stage sells out, the project can go up and the next stage goes into marketing overdrive.

“It’s not just real estate,” says Financial Mindfulness’s founder and CEO, Andrew Fleming.

“A lot of marketing works on the idea of scarcity and urgency, whether there’s only 100 in stock, or it’s a brand new order, or whatever. Think about new phones, new cars, something that is labelled ‘limited edition’.

“Marketing often works on us by getting us to make a decision before we’ve had a chance to think through all of the consequences.”

“Becoming more mindful will help you to buy things rather than be sold to. It’ll allow you to come from an understanding of your real needs, consider the consequences of your actions and respond by making decisions, rather than be manipulated by marketing.”

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Money doesn’t make you happy, but bad debt makes you sick

Money doesn’t make you happy, but bad debt makes you sick

Money doesn’t make you happy, but bad debt makes you sick.

You can’t buy happiness, goes the old saying. We also know that being in poverty decreases happiness, but instinctively we know having lots of money doesn’t guarantee happiness.

Research backs up the motherhood statement too. In a landmark study, Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton, of Princeton University found that after an income of US$75,000, earning more money does not increase happiness.

In 2010, the pair studied the survey responses of 450,000 Americans and found that “high income buys life satisfaction but not happiness”, aka emotional wellbeing.

Then in 2020, three Harvard researchers, Ashley Whillans, Lucía Macchia and Elizabeth Dunn looked at whether prioritising time over money left us happier than focusing on money over time by studying 1000 students graduating from the University of British Columbia.

In short, the students who aimed for money were less happy a year after they graduated than those who made time a priority.

It seems even more obvious that people with lots of debt are not happy, but the extent to which this is true is shocking.

In 2016, Australian investment advice company Acorns Grow Australia surveyed 1000 people and found 70 per cent suffered depression and anxiety because of their money worries, while 76 per cent had trouble sleeping for the same reason. More than half assigned physical health problems to money worries.

In 2013, University of Southampton researchers Thomas Richardson, Ronald Roberts and Peter Elliott found links between severe unsecured debts (such as credit card debt, student and personal loans) and poor health, especially mental health by reviewing 65 previous studies.

Those with unsecured debts were 3.24 times more likely to suffer “mental disorders” than those without unsecured debt and 2.77 times as likely to have depression. They were 2.68 times more likely to be problem drinkers but a scary 8.57 times as likely to be dependent on drugs. Sadly, people with debt are 7.9 times more likely to take their own lives.

Back to the Acorns survey results, a third of Australians aged between 25 and 44 had “abused” alcohol because of financial stress, while 20 per cent coped with money worries by using illegal drugs. It did not say how many turned to prescription drugs to manage.

“The majority of studies found that more severe debt is related to worse health,” the Southampton university team found. Their research was published in the Clinical Psychology Review.

Then there’s the phenomenon of ‘debt-anger’, in which instead of getting fearful about money, people in debt get very angry. By definition, the person affected becomes stressed, and can experience damage to their relationships, feelings of isolation and despair and even weaken one’s immune system.

Australia has world-leading levels of household debt according to most measures. When debt is taken as a percentage of net disposable income, Australia had the fifth highest debt per household out of 35 OECD nations, at nearly 210 per cent of net income, in 2020.

Australia was also the worst in the Asia-Pacific region, in relation to its household debt-to-GDP ratio, according to The Asian Banker website.

Even though most of Australia’s household debt is related to wealth creation or an asset, such as a home loan (the average mortgage debt is $350,000), well over a third of Australians (37 per cent) report they are struggling to repay their debt.

In various research the percentage of Americans struggling with debt is anywhere between 30 per cent and 70 per cent. Even the smaller number is a huge worry.

Citizens of both nations – and people throughout the so-called ‘first-world’ – repeatedly cite money worries as at or near the very top stressors in their lives in surveys and studies.

The Southampton university study didn’t go into which came first – poor mental health or money problems. But the links are clear and so is the message: heavy financial stress will either make you sick, or keep you that way.

The study also didn’t go into what to do about severe financial stress – but there’s plenty of advice out there. The traditional options include consolidating debt, budgeting and financial planning, or studying or working longer hours to try and land a more lucrative role. The latter approaches can come with their own problems: the stress that results from overwork and social disconnection.

One widely praised and usually inexpensive option is to be mindful about money. Mindfulness, defined by some as moment-by-moment awareness, helps to still the mind and improve messy and negative thinking. A huge amount of research worldwide has shown mindfulness positively affects a range of mental health issues including depression, anxiety, memory loss and sleeplessness.

If you are experiencing distress in your life and live in Australia call: Lifeline 131114, Mensline 1300 789 978 or Beyond Blue 1300 224 636; regarding debt problems, the National Debt Helpline may be of use on 1800 007 007.

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Financial stress a perennial reason couples split

In a sea of couple conflict, find stability

Financial stress a perennial reason couples split.

It’s February already and in a lot of relationships that means money worries will be to the fore.

It’s well known amongst lawyers that returning to work after the holidays brings up dissatisfaction amongst couples.

The pressure of being forced together more often, especially with the added burden of home-schooling during the pandemic, has only increased tension for many couples.

The first working Monday of the year is even known as “Divorce Day” by some lawyers because of the increase in enquiries about separation after the stress of Christmas and the New Year.

Dig a little deeper and you’ll see a correlation between that stress and the bills coming in following holiday spending. A lot of it is financial stress.

Money stress has long been a source of relationship pressure.

“Arguments about money is by far the top predictor of divorce,’ said Kansas City associate professor Sonya Britt, from the university’s family studies and human services program, in 2013.

“It’s not children, sex, in-laws or anything else. It’s money – for both men and women,”

Britt, who specialises in “financial conflict within relationships” ran a study of 4500 couples as part of America’s National Survey of Families and Households.

It was published in Family Relations, a journal of applied family studies. The study accounted for income, net worth and debt and found “it didn’t matter how much you made or how much you were worth.

“Arguments about money are the top predictor for divorce because it happens at all levels.”

Britt also found arguments about money took longer to resolve and recover from than other disagreements and used harsher language.

Her research seems to be backed up by people who sought information on relationship therapy in Australia.

An online survey of 2050 people who visited Relationships Australia’s website in late 2015 found nearly 85 per cent thought “financial problems were likely to push couples apart”. More than three quarters of the respondents were women.

This was a big increase on the last time the counselling provider surveyed web visitors on money issues, in 2011. Back then 71 per cent thought money dramas could split couples.

The survey drilled further into why money worries might lead to separation – and the answers were varied. But several of the main causes related to stress; 25 per cent thought financial problems caused “too much stress”, while another 15 per cent answered: “a lot of people can’t cope with the stress”.

Nineteen per cent said money troubles “caused fights” and 12 per cent said such issues “caused blame”.

But the biggest single reason cited in the survey was the more diplomatic “people have different priorities/expectations”, which is another way of saying people disagree about money – presumably how much is enough, as well as how to spend and /or save it.

One finding in particular from the survey showed how mixed up couples are about money: around three quarters of female respondents reported that their male partner managed finances, exactly the reverse of how male respondents answered the question.

In other words, while everybody seems to think they are in charge of the money, nobody seems to be communicating well about finances.

This was backed up by a different set of questions Relationships Australia asked respondents in 2019 – the degree to which couples discussed finances.

Prior to making a commitment to their current of most recent partner, 56% of survey respondents reported they had not discussed how they would manage their couple finances if one of them no longer had an income.

A significant majority of women (74%) and men (69%) reported they had not discussed how they would divide their finances if their relationship ended.

“A mindful approach to money is without doubt a more successful one and a key to living mindfully is being able to accept reality for what it is – good, bad or neutral,” said Andrew Fleming, CEO/Founder of Financial Mindfulness.

It’s not a great leap to see that this can stretch to couples keeping secrets from each other about their finances.

“When we can accept reality, we can admit where we are at with money, not be so intimidated by it and we can discuss financial problems within relationships too.”

“That takes a lot of stress out of relationships, and everyone benefits from that.”

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The 10 biggest barriers to peace of mind in 2021

biggest barriers to peace of mind in 2021

Call it what you will, peace of mind, inner peace, sanity, contentment, serenity – that feeling of freedom from when your brain just won’t shut up and in bad moments you feel only marginally less negative about the world and others than you do about yourself.

In a world full of fear about the pandemic, your job, financial stress, the planet, walking home late at night, whether your kids are safe, the next interest rate rise or maybe that secret we pray never sees the light of day, most of would rather spend time with a sustained, quiet satisfaction than on a speedboat with champagne and celebrities.

It’s a different feeling from ‘happiness’ – though most of want that too.

Happiness is great but in truth it is usually a passing state, although certainly one to be grateful for. Nobody is happy all the time and if they claim to be, well, good luck to them. Contentment or peace of mind is true freedom. So how do we break the chains that hold us back from freedom of the mind in 2021? Here are some ideas.

Worrying excessively about Covid

By this we don’t mean to say it’s not a real thing, actually, quite the opposite. When we accept the evidence of reliable and dour scientists and public health experts and just do what they suggest, the surprising effect is we have less to worry about. That’s because we are not fighting it anymore – and fighting is very often based in worry and fear.

We suggest keeping yourself, your family and your workplaces as Covid-safe as reasonably possible, doing what is asked by authorities – and outside of that, concentrate on living your life. Make your time count for and with those that matter.

Too much screen time

If scrolling through Facebook a few times each day, or news websites, makes you feel connected, or if you have Netflix and just wanna chill, good for you, do it. But if you do it again, and again (and again), sorry to break it to you, but you are not living a healthy life. Period. And as for social media being sociable? Give me a break, Facebook is about as ‘social’ as a phone plan “cap” that somehow makes you spend more.

When used for a specific task, with time limits, social media can be fun and creative but used unconsciously and habitually it is empty, pretend connection. Hit the X on that tab and go get some real face-time with friends, or write someone a letter. If they are across oceans, ring them up to talk and if you can, start saving to go see them.

Putting up with financial stress

No, we are not about to suggest some wealth maximisation (aka get-rich quick) scheme. We are suggesting that continuing to live with worries about money is going to make you sick and/or keep you that way.

Financial stress is the biggest stressor for people in the United States and Australia, and as yet, employers aren’t doing much about that – although that is sure to change as corporate wellbeing programs catch up. In the meantime, do something about your low financial literacy, learn how to keep and stick to a budget, learn how to be mindful with money.

Do something about your fears over money. Be grateful for what you already have rather than always wanting more. Try to stop spending money you don’t actually have yet with too-easy tools like Afterpay or ‘pay-on-demand’. If you really need more money, then take some action: study, look for a different job and if you have the time maybe do some more work in the evenings or at weekends.

Comparing yourself to others

When did this very human trait ever work out really well? Everybody has a bad day and sometimes everyone just looks fitter, richer, like they have more friends or are just more ‘together’. They might be, but they may have very serious problems you cannot see on the surface.

You might see someone worse off and feel grateful, but deep down you may also feel a bit empty from witnessing someone else’s suffering. And why were you comparing in the first place? Perhaps from a lingering sense ‘is this all there is’? Stop distracting yourself from your own life and try practicing gratitude every day.

It’s not hard it just takes commitment. Write a gratitude list. World famous monk David Steindl-Rast suggests we can only be happy when we are grateful and we can do this by reflecting on the valuable things in life that we have been given – not things we paid for or earned. Watch his wonderful TED Talk on gratitude here.

Caring too much about others

Kindness is a really nice quality at face value, we need more of it in the world. But if you secretly wish you didn’t have to do so much for others, or expect something in return for your good deeds you may be just be avoiding the difficult reality of your life and even co-dependent.

Co-dependence is a word similar to the phrase ‘Global Warming’, in that it sounds much friendlier than what it actually is. Global warming is really dangerous climate instability, which is a bit more than feeling cosy in winter. Co-dependence is adjusting your behaviours to please others, no matter the cost to your wellbeing.

People who think co-dependence is healthy are usually thinking of interdependence. “The healthiest way we can interact with those close to us,” according to Barton Goldsmith of Psychology Today, “is by being truly interdependent. This is where two people, both strong individuals, are involved with each other but without sacrificing themselves or compromising their values.”

Being busy, staying busy

If you need something done, as the saying goes, ask a busy person. While you’re at it, give them a gold star but whatever you do, just don’t ask them how their mental health is. If you are busy all the time, what is all that white noise doing inside your head? Do you feel calm, at peace? Never forget you are a human being not a human doing.

Busy-ness can feed anxiety, that nagging chatter in your brain that undermines your self-esteem. You need to stop, at least once a day, take stock, and rest with your own thoughts. Try mindfulness meditation as a way of learning to still the mind and accept your thoughts without judgement.

From that you may learn it’s ok to be still and that you are still valuable – perhaps even more valuable – if you don’t do quite so much. You’ll probably be easier to be around too.

Staying in a job where you don’t want to excel

Maybe it’s because you aren’t respected, the boss just cut staff numbers, or froze wages again but parks his new sports car in the basement. Maybe you are doing law or medicine or IT because you think it makes your parents happy.

Whatever the reason, you feel resentful at work but you stay anyway, usually because you think financially you are trapped, or that a career change would disrupt your life too much.

But getting stuck in a job you hate is a slow death of the soul, one that invariably impacts on your mood and can lead to acting out with (or internalising) anger or with impulse spending or even addiction.

Plus you just may be holding yourself back from a bright new chapter in your life. How will you ever know if you don’t try? At least allow yourself to dream or brainstorm what might make you a happier person.

Treat your grudge like a tiny kitten

Who isn’t angry deep down about someone who harmed them in some way? Not everyone, sure, but a lot of people. If you get into a pattern of almost protecting that grudge every day, even nurturing it, guess what – it’s going to grow.

After a while you’ve held it so close that you begin showing it off, like an 8 year old with new roller skates. A resentment is not a pet, it’s a poison. Ever heard the saying ‘holding a resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to get sick?’

It kinda is. Take action to deal with your resentment, work out your part in it, talk to them with a will to build bridges. And remember honesty without compassion is cruelty, or at least an invitation to an argument.

Doing nothing if you know you have a problem

You know what I’m talking about. That anger you hold, your unprocessed grief, your money problems (whether spending too much, ‘under-earning’ or just ignoring finances), your pattern of bad relationships, your secret addiction or unhealthy behaviour.

In recent years , Prince Harry has come out about the effect hiding his sadness about the effect of Princess Diana. “I can safely say that losing my mum at the age of 12, and therefore shutting down all of my emotions for the last 20 years, has had a quite serious effect on not only my personal life but my work as well,” London’s Telegraph reported Harry as saying.

Nobody is perfect or strong enough to deal with life’s train wrecks on their own. Pretending to be fine is going to stop working at some point, perhaps disastrously. But then what? Don’t waste any more time, start right away. There are different price points for counselling and support groups for all kinds of life issues from eating disorders to post-traumatic stress.

No matter what you think of yourself deep down, you deserve help. Imagine someone saying you didn’t deserve help – how would you react? So step outside your own head and go help that person – you.

Accepting reality

We touched on it above a few times: ignoring and resisting problems actually causes more grief and suffering than facing them.

That’s easy to say when it’s not us having that excruciating conversation, such as asking your lender for a hardship variation on your mortgage, or laying out the facts to the boss who doesn’t like you why you really do deserve a raise, or admitting to your partner that you haven’t been entirely honest.

Yes, uncomfortable conversations are difficult and painful. Especially when they are with ourselves. That might include actually following through to construct a budget and seeing the source of your financial problems.

But after the conversation is over, you have the beginnings of new, much healthier behaviours and habits. Yes, you have to follow through and things might get harder before they get easier, but you no longer be need to be burdened the solvable problems.

You just need to get moving and do something, beginning with the smallest of steps. The most important of those is to get real. Pretending that truly unsustainable situations – whether emotionally, financially, mentally or physically are fine and don’t need to change will just cause you unnecessary pain and drama.

Being real can sometimes hurt a bit, but as a way of thinking and understanding the world it’s both a relief and an effective change to make.

If you are experiencing distress in your life and live in Australia call: Lifeline 131114, Mensline 1300789978 or Beyond Blue 1300224636; regarding debt problems, the National Debt Helpline may be of use on 180 0007 007 , or go here for a list of hotline numbers relating to different crises.

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Six great New Year’s Resolutions to improve your finances in 2021

Six great New Year’s Resolutions to improve your finances in 2021

Six great New Year’s Resolutions to improve your finances in 2021.

These days we know there is a correlation between our financial wellbeing and our general wellbeing. We know that toxic levels of financial stress impacts us in many different ways, it affects our relationships, our self-esteem, our social life, our productivity at work, even our physical health.

That’s why it’s appropriate to set New Year’s Resolutions for our finances — and also our related behaviours.

There’s every chance 2021 will be another tough year with COVID still a major problem, with businesses under pressure, unemployment a big worry and a wide range of ongoing social impacts.

Uncertainty and fear only add to the unavoidable problems presented by the pandemic: we still need to have positive goals and intentions for 2021, then deal with what happens as it happens.

Here are some suggestions to help you kick off 2021 in a positive way.

BECOME SELF-AWARE OF YOUR FINANCIAL POSITION

A great way to break through the murkiness of money problems is to answer some simple no-nonsense questions. Even if it’s a little scary, you should be clearer afterwards and probably more motivated too.

  1. Are your savings going up or down? What direction are your finances are headed in?
  2. Have you had trouble paying basic bills and/or making normal repayments?
  3. What are your financial goals?
  4. Do you fully understand your finances?
  5. Are you ok with being in the same position financially a year from now? Five years from now?
  6. Do you ever feel distracted because of your finances, including during work hours?
  7. How often do you spend money on things you don’t need and/or aren’t healthy for you? When did I last do this? How many times in the past month has this happened?
  8. Are you financially healthy but feel stressed and/or down about it anyway? Why is that?
  9. Do you ever experience conflict or feel anger because of your finances?
  10. What steps are you taking to address your financial issues? If none, what is holding you back?

Spend at least 30 minutes on this and try to share the answers with someone you trust, and also put your answers into a journal so you can refer to them later.

TRACK YOUR SPENDING

“Spend less, save more” is on just about everyone’s list of New Year’s Resolutions, ever year. It’s a great goal, but a more specific objective that will help you work towards that goal is to carefully track all your spending – on a daily basis. Use an app, or write it down on paper – whichever suits you best.

Do it for a week, then a month. Clear patterns will emerge which will help you to keep a realistic budget. Keep doing it – this is one of the best habits anyone who feels financial stress can build.

REDUCE THE NOISE

There are just too many distractions in the world today. To have any hope of living more mindfully, and sustaining financial resilience and overall wellbeing, we need to reduce the white noise in life. Here are some suggestions:

  • Reduce your social media use. Cut back and make the time you spend on social media more meaningful. For example, congratulate friends on life events and achievements instead of getting dragged into debates.Post pictures and stories of something you are proud of. If you really struggle with social media, turn off notifications and set digital wellbeing timers.
  • Be wary of online news. There’s an old saying that still holds true in the news business: if it bleeds, it leads. News organisations have a vested interest in bad news and scandals and that cannot be good for anyone’s state of mind.Be aware of that before you click: news sites count on a natural human curiosity to witness dramatic events.
  • Plan your distractions. It’s ok to switch off and escape mentally for a while, in fact it’s essential with the pressures in life. Plan ahead for how to ‘escape’ and make an agreement with yourself to eliminate or minimise unhealthy behaviours and stick to your limits.For example, watching a movie or two episodes of your favourite Netflix show is very different from bingeing until 2am. Try one glass of wine on a Friday instead of two each night. Listen to a podcast on a walk instead of snacking.
  • Monitor and reduce screen use. Are you seeing far more human faces on screens than in person? Does your screen use feel compulsive? Do you wish you could turn something off but can’t seem to?Do you have blurred vision, neck pain, headaches, irritability and trouble sleeping? These are all signs of excessive screen time.
  • Don’t reply to everyone. It was true of email 10 years ago and it’s true of all forms of digital communication today. We are not saying ignore people in need, but answer what you have to. You can’t always please everyone.
  • Aim for 5 minutes of complete silence each day. No screens, no music, no audio at all, no talking. Yes, it’s an old-fashioned idea but just try: it’s powerful. In that 5 minutes notice how your body feels.

UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU CANNOT CHANGE

Resisting or trying to control things that are not in our direct control is the cause of a lot of human misery. What does this have to do with financial resilience? A lot of people spend money to change the way they – or someone else – feels.

Understanding what you can’t change takes practice. Give this a try: can you actually change the fact that COVID is still in play and affecting your suburb and your company? Of course not.

Here are some other things you also cannot directly change:

  • Other people’s opinions and decisions;
  • Other people’s behaviours, including their flaws, habits and problems;
  • Final decisions and rulings made by companies, and governments;
  • The job market;
  • The housing or rental market;
  • The cost of buying anything;
  • Money that has already been spent; and
  • Debts that have been fairly accrued.

What do you think you have been trying to change that is actually beyond your direct control?

Here’s a list of things that we can change (even if it is difficult to do so):

  • Our own decisions and opinions;
  • Our own behaviours and how we react (including good and bad habits);
  • How we spend our time;
  • Our loneliness, including any tendency to repeat our mistakes (we can ask for help);
  • What we spend our money on;
  • Our level of savings and the direction of our finances;
  • Our financial literacy;
  • Debts that have been unfairly/illegally accrued

TAKE HAVING FUN MORE SERIOUSLY

True, it seems counter-intuitive to be “serious” about fun. What we really mean is to make having fun a priority. There is some science that shows how important fun is:

  • It improves relationships;
  • It relaxes and makes us more confident;
  • It is good for our health – reducing potentially harmful hormones like cortisol and noradrenalin and improving our immune system response;
  • Fun invariably leads to laughter, which also has a host of positive physiological affects including raising mood;
  • It improves satisfaction levels at home and in the workplace.

So how do we have more fun? Try thinking of fun as “play”.

Play isn’t just important for children, though it’s often best with children. Play with your kids, get down on the ground with them – inside or outside. In their fort, in the dirt. It’s good for everyone involved.

If you don’t have kids, play with your dog. If you don’t have a dog, sing bad 80s music at the top of your lungs, jump in the ocean regularly, rediscover things you loved doing as a teenager. Push yourself out of your comfort zone a little, perhaps with dancing, or taking up a craft or hobby that sounds enjoyable to you.

Gentle exercise, especially when shared with others, is often good fun. It doesn’t have to be competitive – that’s a personal decision: some people find competition fun, some don’t. Go with your gut.

Whatever you do for fun, make it regular – at least once a week.

MAKE SELF-CARE A DAILY HABIT

Self-care is being written about here, there and everywhere for a reason: it’s not just a cliché or a passing fad. It’s a very broad term to cover the actions that keep your mind and body healthy. Here are 12 suggestions for valuable self-care that anyone can do:

  1. Face up to basic responsibilities, like booking doctors and dentist appointments;
  2. Keep your receipts for tax time. Your self-esteem will grow, and you will feel more in control;
  3. Exercise at least 3 times a week, even if you can’t face high-intensity activity. Just go for long walks;
  4. Don’t eat mindlessly, think about your food. Avoid huge servings, especially late at night. Eat more vegetables than processed foods. Sugary snacks and drinks are not your friends! They are bad for your teeth and lead to weight gain;
  5. Go to bed on time and at the same time each night. 7-8 hours’ sleep is about right, less or more might affect your health;
  6. Do a quick mindfulness exercise each day. Guided meditations are easiest and often free on YouTube or apps;
  7. Get out of your own head by helping others;
  8. Always have something to look forward to a holiday, a dinner, a movie, a concert, especially something that ‘makes the heart sing’;
  9. Find a community you identify with – separate from work and family connect with them at least once a week;
  10. Reach out to trusted friends when you feel lonely. It’s never a burden to hear from a friend expressing their vulnerability, it actually builds trust;
  11. Set aside an hour each week for honest self-reflection: look at your progress with your finances and on your goals, assess your self-care and bad habits, estimate your screen time. Are you having enough fun? Or too much? Are you wrestling with things you can’t change? Record these facts, thoughts and feelings in the same place each week.
  12. Don’t forget to be positive, grateful and kind to yourself!

SET GOALS FOR 2021

Just setting a few modest goals can have positive impacts on our mental wellbeing, as well as the more obvious benefits that come from even partially achieving them.

It’s important to not overwhelm your list with a ‘to-do’ list aimed at transforming every area of your life. That is a recipe for beating yourself up. But you should put some thought and some detail into the few that you do come up with.

The SMART acronym – Specific, Measurable, Achievable (or Action-oriented), Realistic (or Relevant) and Timely – is a popular, effective and useful tool for goal setting.

Here are some steps for goal setting:

  1. Reflect on what you have learnt from 2020;
  2. Reflect on what worked well for you in 2020;
  3. Try to remember what your goals were this time last year – are they still relevant?;
  4. Think about what story you’d love to tell about your life at the end of 2021;
  5. Brainstorm 6-10 ideas for goals, some hard, some easy;
  6. Trim that list back to 3-4 that feel right and/or really important (don’t pick the 3-4 most difficult!);
  7. Apply the SMART acronym to each; and
  8. For long-term goals, make sure you break them down into smaller goals, e.g. “To save $20,000 and invest” can’t be achieved quickly for someone on an average income. For most people it would only be possible with a series of smaller goals, such as:
    1. Calculate how much you need to save each week to reach your savings goal;
    2. Make a realistic budget of all your expenses;
    3. Work out how much income you need each week to reach the savings goal;
    4. Adjust the savings target if necessary;
    5. Evaluate your progress after 1 week, 3 and 6 weeks. Make necessary adjustments; and
    6. Seek help and advice on investment options.

Some general tips on goal-setting:

  • Goals work best when they are clear and specific;
  • Having several highly ambitious goals is probably not realistic;
  • Having at least one challenging goal has positives and negatives, but produce better overall results than having only modest goals;
  • Goals need to be reviewed regularly and adjusted accordingly; and
  • When you evaluate your progress and find you are on track, give yourself a modest reward, but not one that undermines your efforts so far.
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Want to avoid financial stress: ask yourself these questions

Want to avoid financial stress: ask yourself these questions

Want to avoid financial stress: ask yourself these questions.

There’s never been so many options for accessing cash quickly as there are today, and that’s very appealing around this time of year – especially this year, with many more people unemployed as a result of the ‘pandemic induced’ economic disruption.

Nobody wants to be in financial stress (or distress) or have money worries. But sometimes a quick fix becomes a long-term problem if we ‘go there’ over and over.

We all know the quick fixes to cashflow problems available today. On top of the huge success of ‘buy now, pay later’ products like Afterpay and ZipMoney, people are increasingly signing up to so-called ‘pay-on-demand’ services that – for a fee of around 5 per cent – will let you draw cash against your pay before it is deposited into your bank account.

New financial services arise (and succeed) because someone has identified a need and met that need. That’s fair enough. Financial products and services that give people flexibility and help them out of a squeeze are welcome. There are a lot of positives when one considers all the angles and different perspectives.

These new services, referred to above, are sign of the times. They also tell us some important things – that many people basically live paycheck to paycheck and that there is a groundswell of support for the idea that employers shouldn’t pay in arrears and instead should pay as people earn.

We need to be clear – and we urge mums, dads and singles to be clear about what these services really are: they are loans that have to be repaid.

As a rule, we cannot endorse the regular use of fee-based short-term loans to get by every week.

Here are at least four reasons:

  1. Paying regular fees for basically spending your own money is just adding another debit to your account, and it’s not insignificant (Think about it: how often would you pay $15 to withdraw $300 from an ATM?)
  2. The second reason is there’s a basic truth that these service providers (let’s call them small lenders, as that’s what they are) want you to ignore: spending more than you earn every week is a dangerous habit.
  3. Financial stress. See points 1 and 2.
  4. We believe that with ‘mindful spending’ – spending done with full awareness of your financial position and your needs and wants – you can reduce, and avoid, damaging financial stress.

The good news is that by using awareness and acceptance of your financial position, you can feel much more in control of your personal finances and your week-to-week expenses.

With a healthier financial mindset – where you aren’t experiencing the symptoms and impacts of financial stress – short-term loans become what they were designed for: a useful solution to an emergency cash flow problem.

Here are some questions to ask yourself if you regularly use ‘buy now, pay later’ services like Afterpay, and have used – or want to use – ‘pay on demand’ apps and services.

  1. When was the last time you looked at your credit card statement? If you are avoiding it, why is that?
  2. How many ‘buy now, pay later’ accounts do you have?
  3. Do you keep track of the total amounts owed? Are those totals increasing over time?
  4. How often do you use buy now pay later services?
  5. What do you buy using these products? To solve emergency money issues, or for normal living expenses? (Note: clothes and haircuts are rarely an emergency)
  6. How often would you use ‘pay on demand’ (getting an advance on your pay) apps and services?
  7. What would you buy with the money you receive from ‘pay on demand’ services?
  8. Is your overall financial position better or worse after using ‘buy now, pay later’ and/or ‘pay on demand’ services?
  9. What would it really take to improve your overall financial position?
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The real cost of gift-giving: financial stress – part 3

The real costs of gift-giving: Financial stress

The real cost of gift-giving: financial stress – part 3.

In ancient history giving gifts began as part of the ritual of worship and over the centuries it has morphed into a show of appreciation. In the age of mass consumerism gift-giving has become an expensive habit too, especially in holiday season.

While most of us worry about money to some degree, gift-giving has costs we usually bear without much complaint; giving is a respected value, it feels good and it’s accepted as a cultural obligation. Besides, we have special labels for people who don’t play along with gift-giving: who wants to be labelled Scrooge or the Grinch?

Let’s take a look at one specific festive custom: the excessive expectation everyone will have a present for everyone else who arrives on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day – whether they are young nieces and nephews, twentysomethings, cousins, partners of relatives.

Even exes in attendance get a gift. It’s probably no exaggeration to say half the gifts exchanged in these situations are politely put in a cupboard when they arrive home – and forgotten. The obligation to provide a pile of gifts – of appropriate value – across extended families can add tension to what is often already awkward family gathering. It almost certainly adds to seasonal financial stress.

Never mind that in the affluent West that many of us take months to repay debts incurred at Christmas time and in Black Friday and Boxing Day sales. So, at least reasons to buy expensive gifts are out of the way after Christmas, right?

Wrong. February and March tend to have the most weddings in Australia, which means wedding costs and wedding gifts for guests. February and March also have a lot of birthday spending, as those are the second and third most common months to have a baby. From there, the retail calendar kicks in: with gift-giving the norm in Easter, then for Mother’s Day – not to mention birthdays and anniversaries for the rest of the year.

Another type of gift-giving that is anecdotally growing is also worth noting: buying ourselves gifts and treats for our birthdays or just ‘getting through hard times’ such as COVID, often just because we see appealing items in big seasonal sales.

So, how can we avoid the financial stress that comes from adding new debt to existing debt, and the symptoms and impacts of that financial stress?

Some of us at some point have completed a budget (even if we can’t always stick to it) and humble enough to get financial advice to try and do better. We are not clueless.

But without an overhaul in our thinking, choosing gifts will remain stressful for many people. There can be a huge array of options and a nagging temptation to show our appreciation – for ourselves and others – by over‐spending.

If you have tried every trick to rein in spending on gifts it could be time to try something new – using mindfulness with your finances, also known as financial mindfulness. Mindfulness is described as moment‐by‐moment awareness.

Take the example of a teenager who “needs” for a sleek iPhone 10 as a gift, if not the newest flagship Apple phone, an iPhone 12 Pro Max. An iPhone 11 Pro Max will set you back at least $750 and a Pro Max 12 starts from the mid $1500s and rapidly goes up beyond $2000.

“We all have urges that we really, really want a new gadget like an iPhone, including me,” says Financial Mindfulness CEO and Founder, Andrew Fleming.

“It feels good to take it out of the box and start using it. The feeling of having the latest technology makes you feel cool and the children love it. Like anyone else I’ve learned those feelings don’t last long and they certainly don’t improve your life, despite what the ads tell us.

“Always having the latest iPhone won’t make me or anyone else truly happy. In fact always giving in to buying the new iPhone – or the latest of any brand of device – will actually decrease happiness because it will probably contribute to increased financial stress.”

The reason those sentiments feel uncomfortable is because they’re true. Researchers from Washington University and Seoul National University, Joseph Goodman and Sarah Lim, found that giving ‘experiences’ increases the happiness of recipients more than material gifts – even if people are not socially close.

Hence the boom for online companies selling “experiential” gifts: in Australia, RedBalloon; in the UK, Red Letter Days and in the United States, retailers like Cloud 9 Living and Great American Days.

But focusing on experiential as opposed to material gifts is unarguably only half of the answer.

While the research shows a hot‐air balloon ride or chocolate‐making course should satisfy the recipient more than boxed gift wrapped with a bow, if you try to please someone with the dollar value of your gift your debt problems could get worse and that is undeniably a problem.

Ever looked at the cost of sky‐diving, rodeo‐riding or maybe cage diving with sharks? You will spend hundreds, if not over a thousand dollars on these.

Financial stress is irrefutably linked to health problems like depression, anxiety and sleep disorders so it’s not a big leap to see that the expensive gifts you buy – whether material or experiential ‐ could paradoxically lead you to feel less likely to connect with other people.

Most of us know overspending will put pressure on us, but since when did knowing right from wrong stop human beings from making mistakes?

A parent, relative or partner with poor self‐control around money will often buckle to badgering from a child, or give into a yearning to people‐please, and buy that new smartphone, tablet, a holiday or even a car.

A daily mindfulness practice will lead to a more mindful approach to gift‐giving, so we do not drift into autopilot when buying. It’s inevitable this will lead us to confront some fundamental uncomfortable truths about money. “Mindfulness helps to calm the mind and with a calm mind we make better decisions,” Fleming says.

“Sometimes it’s a better decision to treat ourselves to a book or a movie or a massage instead of the latest smartphone.”

It’s important to note mindfulness is no silver bullet – it can however help you begin to change in that area. From there we can make some deep, meaningful changes: when we are forced to face old assumptions about money.

“There’s a big mindset change some of us need to make at times like Christmas, birthdays and weddings: how much we spend on people is not automatically a sign of our value and love for each other.”

Which brings us back to gifts. You can create lasting memories with creativity and your knowledge of a person.

How about home‐made cookies baked with personal messages – each describing why you love the recipient ‐ hidden in the dough? Or a hand‐made recipe book containing meal suggestions from the recipient’s family members?

Maybe get a t‐shirt printed with the recipient’s favourite funny saying or if you have time, plan a surprise outing and put thought into favourite stops and a destination, or even fill a tall jar with inspirational quotes written and printed in different colours.

If you have lots of time, learn the guitar then write someone a song and play it for them. If you don’t have much time, spend a couple of hours hand‐writing a letter telling the recipient what they mean to you. Could any gift feel better and teach about the real meaning of value?

Time is a key resource when it comes to gift-giving; you need to know someone or learn about them to know what might make them happy. And time is valuable. Benjamin Franklin was widely credited with the unforgettable line “time is money” in 1748 (although it’s been shown to have much earlier origins, perhaps even ancient Greece).

We can spend money and time, but where spending too much money might cause you crippling financial stress, spending a lot of time only enhances relationships – especially on children – by creating last memories.

Andrew Fleming says getting our minds to a state where we can see that spending time is just as valuable as money when it comes to gifts isn’t easy. “Everyone thinks they are time-poor.

One tool I know that can really transform how much time I think I have is mindfulness. Using mindfulness when I’m spending money means I make better decisions – no doubt about it.”

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The real costs of gift-giving: Financial stress – part 2

Our Guide to Last minute Christmas shopping guide

The real costs of gift-giving: Financial stress – part 2.

Who wants to buy something special for their partner, relative, friend or colleague on Black Friday or this Christmas? It’s a thoughtful idea given how tough 2020 has been – with bushfires, then the COVID-19 pandemic, various lockdowns and financial stress coming at Australians in waves all year.

If we are not aware of our underlying financial stress at this time of year, advertising pressure can trick us into an expensive false reality: that our usual safe spending limits don’t apply when it comes to proving our care for others.

It’s sad to think we actually believe that the price of gifts should be in proportion to what people mean to us – and yet our national gift-giving habits suggests we overlook the damaging realities of money stress at the checkout.

Megan McArdle of Bloomberg, argued “there is a higher logic to the gift economy … that mandates we keep giving and receiving objects of dubious value”.

Gift-giving, she wrote, was connected to “an innate human value called “reciprocal altruism” which makes the costs of gifts “a maintenance fee for your relationship”.

There are of course, real problems beyond warm and fuzzy feelings when altruism is all about money.

As well-intentioned as gift-giving is, the Christmas rush to buy gifts is sometimes only ‘generous’ financially; how often is our gift something the recipient really needs and will use?

Often, we believe we are too busy to understand our recipients real wants and needs. When we go into this kind of autopilot thinking, we can’t see that we are setting ourselves up for financial stress and its many impacts on our relationships, our work, and potentially making any existing anxiety and depression worse.

Research by Joseph Goodman (from Washington State University) and Sarah Lim (from Seoul’s Center for Happiness Studies) found people commonly buy material gifts over experiential gifts, despite the fact that recipients often feel happier receiving experiences.

Material gifts are those we can touch while experiential gifts are those that create a memory.

So, gift-giving becomes a stressful problem which we solve with money – by buying the latest expensive gadget, a heavily-marketed ‘luxury’ or some kind of timeless status symbol.

If it sounds mean-spirited to question gift-giving, that’s not the intention here. Only narcissists and debt collectors (and the occasional teenager) believe it’s better to receive than to give.

The problems raised here are not about gift-giving per se, it’s the headless chook race that it can resemble – and the financial stress and strain placed on many of us.

Last Christmas Australians splurged a mammoth A$28 billion on credit cards, according to finder.com.au – over $1,100 for every many woman and child.

Add the costs of Valentine’s Day, Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, birthdays, weddings and anniversaries and you can see how gift-buying has become a major driver of the retail engine in Western economies.

Of course, it’s a double-edged sword: retail spending is celebrated each year as a measurement of the strength of the economy. But at a personal level, buying gifts for everyone, and without mindful budgetary limits, will likely cause financial stress.

Debt consistently shows up in surveys as a leading cause of financial stress. But it’s now widely known personal money problems consistently show up in research as a major cause – if not the major cause – of stress in general.

The links between financial stress and poor mental health are well known, but recently the physical symptoms are being acknowledged and links to serious physical illness are emerging.

In the United States, the company Four Seasons Financial Education surveyed 511 employees in a national study and found disturbing correlations between financial stress and health problems. The respondents rated their level of financial stress, then the prevalence of health issues between two groups was compared.

People with high financial stress had higher reported incidence of health issues across all nine illnesses identified – heart attack, high blood pressure, depression, anxiety, infertility, gastrointestinal issues and sleeplessness, migraines/headaches and memory loss.

“The greatest disparities were found with anxiety and depression between these two groups,” the study findings said. In the groups with lower financial stress, 19 per cent reported depression and anxiety, but amongst the more financially stressed respondents, 55 per cent were depressed and 68 per cent had anxiety.

When the survey responses were further broken down, into the very highest and lowest levels of financial stress, people under extreme financial stress were five times more likely to have memory loss issues, more three times as likely to report depression and nearly twice as likely to have anxiety.

They were also twice as likely to have gastrointestinal problems.

Debt is a major cause of financial stress and the search for an answer has become a popular google search term in its own right, with variations of ‘how do I relieve my financial stress?’ common.

If you’ve tried all the usual advice and methods, it might be time to investigate a new approach, or at least, new tools to supplement what you are already doing.

In the final part of our series on the real cost of gift-giving, we look at how mindfulness can help reign in over-spending and the financial stress that often comes from increasing your debt burden at this time of year.

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Australians distressed and acting aggressively to others

Australians distressed and acting aggressively to others

Australians distressed and acting aggressively to others.

These are the findings from the latest Financial Mindfulness Financial Stress Index (FSI) report which has tracked financial stress in detail over the last 12 months and captured the impact from the COVID-19 pandemic.

An estimated 2.29 million Australians are experiencing levels of financial stress that reduce their wellbeing and capacity to function and it is dragging on the Australian economy.

The lost productivity costs Australian business an estimated $32.14 billion per annum. Key findings from the Financial Mindfulness FSI report during COVID-19* include:

      • 8.76x increase in people always acting “aggressively towards others because of my financial position”
      • There has been an 8.25x increase in those Distressed during COVID19 times from pre COVID-19
      • A 290% increase for always feeling isolated
      • 151% increase in those always finding it hard to ‘wind down’
      • Worry, feelings of tension and agitation increased
      • Increases in people who always or sometimes “experienced conflict with a loved one about money matters”.

The other key findings from the Financial Mindfulness FSI Report were:

      • A large proportion feel worried (89%), overwhelmed (79%), and downhearted (82%) about their financial situation
      • 69% of people say financial stress has negatively impacted their relationships
      • 64% experienced conflict with loved ones
      • 50% could not meet all of their weekly expenses
      • 77% of people are distracted because of financial concerns
      • 62% of people are having difficulty sleeping
      • 50% of people ate, drank, smoked more due to their financial situation.

“The Financial Stress Index (FSI) is a comprehensive measure of the financial factors and biopsychosocial consequences of financial stress developed by Financial Mindfulness,” says Dr Nicola Gates, Consultant Clinical Neuropsychologist at Financial Mindfulness.

“A worrying result has been the significant escalation of people always acting aggressively towards others and the negative impact on relationships in general.”

The company’s Founder and CEO, Andrew Fleming says “Financial stress was a significant problem before the COVID-19 pandemic, but we now can see the increased damage it is having on individuals and work productivity.”

“It is staggering to see how much financial stress is impacting mental and physical health, relationships and work.”

“We developed the Financial Stress Index (FSI) to understand financial stress at a granular level in order to build a solution. Our solution is the Financial Mindfulness App, a personalised program which reduces financial stress,” Fleming says.

The Financial Mindfulness FSI is a leading indicator on financial stress and will be reported every six months to measure changes in Australians’ financial stress levels.

*Data compares user responses in the periods August 2019 to February 2020, with March to August 2020.